Erik and Magda, 1954
by AnyaLehnsherr
Summary: This is a sequel to my story "Erik and Magda, 1953." Magda and Erik continue to live their lives, even as their lives are ever-changing.
1. What If?

Magda woke up to the sound of Anya crying. She smiled. The other women she knew told her how hard it would be to deal with a crying baby, but she didn't mind it. She hadn't slept well before the baby came either. It was better to be woken up by her beautiful daughter than by a nightmare of the horrors she had lived through in her childhood.

Anya was a light in the darkness of Magda and Erik's lives. The past was behind them. Anya was their future. Before she had been born, Magda had never believed she would love anyone other than Erik that much ever again. Then she gave birth to Erik's daughter. Her daughter. The child their love had made together. Anya was their chance to give the life neither of them had, that both of them wanted, to someone else.

"Hush, my Anya. You're alright. Mama's here. Mama loves you. Papa loves you. Oh, my little Anya, Mama and Papa love you so very much."

Magda fed and changed Anya and sang her a Polish lullaby her mother had sung to her when she was little. Oh, her poor mother. If only her mother were here to see her granddaughter. Magda knew her parents would have loved Anya so much. They would have loved Erik too. If only they could have seen how happy Magda and her family were now.

When Magda was sure little Anya was asleep again, she laid her back in her cradle and crawled back into bed with Erik.

"Thank you, Erik," she whispered softly, trying not to wake him. "Thank you for giving me a daughter. I do still envy your ability to sleep."

Magda lay in bed trying to sleep again. Sleep had never come easily to her. Even when she was a girl she didn't sleep, but that was more to do with her active imagination. She had stayed up late nights imagining the characters from her favorite stories coming to life and going on adventures with them.

In a way, her imagination was still what kept her awake. It wasn't the fantastical imaginations of a child with happy endings anymore, but it was still that part of her mind. It was still her innate curiosity, this time tormenting her instead of giving her fun. It was the part of her mind that forced her to wonder "What if?"

What if she hadn't been good at pretending she wasn't sick when the guards made their selections? What if the camp hadn't been liberated when it was? What if the soldiers were even one week later than they were? What if she had been taken to be experimented on? Would she have been as strong as Erik was? What had happened to her Erik in Schmidt's office? What if the horrors he had lived through were worse than the scars on his body suggested? What if the people here knew she was a Gypsy? What if it happened again, here?

She stopped herself from those thoughts. She had Anya now. There were happier questions now.

What would be Anya's first word? Magda and Erik jokingly fought over whether it would be "Mama" or "Papa." When would Anya learn to crawl? When would she learn to walk?What would she be like? Would she like exploring like Magda had as a child, or would she prefer quiet activities like Erik had as a child? When would she find a boy? Would Anya have puppy love like she and Erik had when they were kids? What would her friends be like? Would she be popular, or prefer to have a small group of friends?

Ah, yes. Those were much better questions to wonder about.


	2. Never Again

Erik snapped awake in a panic. His nightmare that night had been especially bad. He ran to Anya's cradle and held her in his arms. He was almost thankful for Anya's cries. He was thankful that something snapped him out of that nightmare.

"My little daughter. Oh, my little daughter. I love you so much. Papa's here. Papa's not going to let anything happen to you. Never. I don't care what I have to do. I'm going to take care of you, little one."

Magda walked in.

"Erik, darling, it's alright." Magda walked over to Erik and Anya. "I can take care of her. You go back to bed. I have to feed her anyway." Magda noticed Erik looked disturbed. "What is it, darling? Another nightmare?"

"I keep having the same one. I'm back in Schmidt's office. You remember what I told you about my mother?"

"Yes. He tried to force you to do something, and shot her when you couldn't complete the task on time."

Magda hated thinking about that. It was hard enough losing your family by the hands of those monsters, but Erik felt responsible for his mother's death. She had never asked what the task was that Erik couldn't complete on time. He had never wanted to tell her, and she understood that.

"I keep having nightmares of that. But it's different." Erik cut himself off. "No. I shouldn't tell you this. I don't want to bother you, my dear. Here. Take Anya. I'll go back to bed."

"Erik, you can tell me anything. Don't worry about bothering me. It's bothering you. I want to share your burden."

"It's Anya. Schmidt rings his bell and the guards come in. But instead of having my mother, they have Anya. One of those monsters is holding Anya in his arms with a gun pointed at her. I fight to save her. The other guard holds me back. They kill her. They kill Anya. And it's my fault. I didn't get to her. I couldn't save her."

Magda was horrified. The idea of her precious baby daughter in Auschwitz was the worst thing she could think of. She knew how horrible a nightmare that must have been for her husband. She forced herself to stop thinking about it. It would bother her for the rest of the night if she kept thinking about it. Erik noticed how disturbed she was.

"I'm so sorry, my love. I shouldn't have bothered you with that."

"I asked you to tell me. It wasn't you."

"I'm not going to let that happen. I'm would die before failing to protect you and Anya. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do, darling. Erik, ever since that mess, the only time I've felt safe was with you. I trust you, Erik. I know you love me. I know you will protect us."

"I will do whatever I have to, Magda. Do you understand?"

"Yes Erik. Of course I do."

"I love you, Magda."

"I love you Erik."

"Oh, Magda. Thank you for giving me a daughter."

"Thank you, Erik."

"I never knew I'd love someone this much. I love you Magda. I thought I'd never love anyone so deeply other than you. Then you gave me my precious daughter. Now I love her more than anyone or anything. And I love you even more than I did for making me a father. Oh, Magda, she's perfect."

"She is. Oh, Erik, I love you. Erik, I want to give her the world. I want her to have everything we didn't."

"She will. I'll make sure of it, my dear."

"Go back to bed, Erik. I'm sure you're exhausted. After the nightmare you had, I'm sure you want nothing more than to go back to bed."

"I want to be with my wife and child."

"Erik, you have to work in the morning. I want you here, but I wouldn't want to be the reason for taking your strength away."

"I would be awake anyway. And you never take my strength away. You are my strength, Magda. You are my strength, and Anya is my hope. Together you are my heart."

Magda smiled. Erik was corny, but she liked it. Erik loved seeing that smile on his wife's face, and loved even more that he could put it there. His life was beautiful now. His life had been filled with some of the lowest lows that could possibly be imagined, but now he had such beauty. Magda and Anya brought such joy to him, a joy he wouldn't have thought possible after the agony he had lived through. But with that joy came terror. He had known more than his share of terror in his life, but this was different. He had lived in his childhood with the terror of horrible things that could happen to him. Now he lived with the terror of what could happen to his wife or his little daughter.

But, strangely, the same ability that had given him terror in his youth had been the only thing to calm his terror now. He had been too weak to move the coin and save his mother in Auschwitz. But now he knew he could do much more. Schmidt had been the cruelest man Erik had ever met, and that was saying a lot. He had hated that madman more than he hated Adolf Hitler. But now that he had Anya to protect, he was glad he knew how to use his power. He hated thinking of what Schmidt had done to him, but his control of his power had grown so far from moving coins under that madman's torture. His only hope was that if anyone ever tried to harm Anya, he would be strong enough to stop them. He hated using his powers. They reminded him of Schmidt and caused him fear that he would be tortured again if anyone knew. But he knew he would put that terror aside if it meant helping Anya. Never again would he lose a loved one for not being able to use his ability.


	3. Enough

Magda woke up the next morning a little later than usual. She panicked for a second when she didn't feel Erik next to her.

"Erik?"

Erik rushed into the bedroom.

"Yes, my dear? Are you alright?"

"Yes, darling. Where were you? I'm not used to waking up without you still asleep next to me."

"I was in the kitchen making breakfast. You've been awake with the baby so much. I know you need your sleep."

Magda was delighted. She couldn't wait to tell her friends that her husband let her sleep in _and_ cooked her breakfast.

"Oh, Erik, what would I do without you?"

"My dear, without you, I wouldn't be alive. Even if I had survived, I wouldn't wake up next to the love of my life every morning, or come home from work and hold my daughter in my arms. I wouldn't have a daughter to come home to. I wouldn't have anyone left to love without you. I wouldn't have a reason to wake up in the morning. Cooking you breakfast every once in a while is not enough, my love."

Magda was happy, of course. Not every woman got to have a husband who loved her so deeply, so unconditionally. Not every woman was as blessed as her to have such a thoughtful husband. But she did sometimes wonder whether Erik would be so devoted to her if it weren't for the terrible experiences in his childhood. After all, she had been the only person he still had in his life after Auschwitz. Sometimes she wondered what was love and what was terror that he'd lose yet another person he loved. And how much of his love was convenience? He didn't really have any other options after Auschwitz. She was the only one who was left in his life. She was the only person he knew who knew what it was like to live with those scars. She loved Erik, and wouldn't trade his love for anything. But that didn't mean she never wondered about it. All of that wondering was usually quelled when she looked into Erik's eyes and saw the genuine care behind them. No matter what circumstances may have driven their love, it was genuine.

"Thank you, Erik. I love you, darling."

"I love you too, Magda. So much. I should get back to the kitchen. I wouldn't want to burn anything."

"I can take over from here, darling."

"You don't have faith in my cooking abilities?" Erik joked.

Magda laughed. "That's exactly it, Erik. I'm shocked you haven't burned down this house yet today."

"Well, if you don't want that to happen, I must get back to the kitchen." At that moment, Anya began to cry. "You're busy now anyway."

Erik went back to the kitchen. Magda walked over to Anya's cradle and picked her up. After changing her, Magda sat down to feed Anya.

"Little Anya, I hope you someday find a husband who is as wonderful for you as Papa is for me. And then you can give me grandchildren. Hopefully you'll have a little daughter to hold. You'll be a Mama to your own beautiful little daughter. Then you'll know how much Mama and Papa love you, because then you'll have a baby you love more than anything in the world."

"Magda, breakfast is ready," Erik called.

Magda finished feeding Anya and walked into the kitchen. Despite their jokes, Erik was a wonderful cook. They both pretended they didn't know it was out of necessity. He had learned to cook from his mother while they were in the ghetto. She had taught him how to cook delicious meals from the few ingredients they had. It was a necessity with such short food. Magda and Erik both knew that was why he was such a good cook, but they pretended they didn't. Though it was hard, they both tried to focus on the future as much as possible, rather than the past. They often failed at that goal. Their past haunted both of them, and colored nearly every part of their lives. The way they loved each other, the way they raised Anya, the way viewed the world, all of it was changed by the horrors they had survived. But they could eat breakfast and not focus on the past. And that was enough.


	4. Legacy

Erik was filled with pride. He loved how happy he had made his wife. He was giving his darling wife and beautiful daughter the happiness they deserved. Well, not exactly. He knew it was too late for Magda to have the beautiful life she deserved. As much as he despised the Nazis for what they had done to him and his family, he hated them even more for what they had done to his Magda. Seeing the pain behind her eyes at every reminder of the camps was agony for him, especially because he knew exactly what it was like. He knew exactly how badly his wife had suffered in her childhood. He knew exactly how nightmarish every detail of the camps had been. He hated knowing that his wife had suffered through those things.

He knew he couldn't take away that pain from his Magda. He knew no number of kind gestures for her could erase her grief. No amount of love could negate the years of fear in her past. No matter how happy they were now, it couldn't make the pain of the past disappear. There had to be something he could give her. As he told her, breakfast every once in a while wasn't nearly enough, and he knew that. He wished he had more to give her.

He wished he had more to give the world, in fact. He had a great deal of anger, and not just directed at those who had mercilessly slaughtered his people. Of course, he was angry at the Nazis for their actions. He was angry at those who had done nothing in the face of such evil. He was filled with utter hatred for Klaus Schmidt, the madman who had murdered his mother and tortured him. But most of all, he was angry at himself. He had been unable to save his mother. He had been unable to save the countless others who were sent to the gas chambers whose bodies he had been forced to put in the ovens. He felt unworthy. He felt disgusting. Why had he survived when they hadn't? He shouldn't have been allowed to survive. So many people he had known died. His teacher, Herr Kalb. His parents. Magda's parents. His uncle. His sister. So many others. What gave him the right to live instead of them?

He wanted, no, he _needed_, to prove to himself that he deserved to live. He wouldn't let down those who had perished. He wouldn't insult their memory by living a useless life. He wanted to do something with the life he had left. If he didn't have Magda and Anya in his life, he thought he would dedicate his life to hunting down the cowards who had slaughtered his people. He couldn't save his fellow prisoners while they were alive. He couldn't bring them back now. But perhaps he could avenge them. Magda disapproved of this way of thinking. She still hated the Nazis, but she didn't see what good could come from Erik personally taking vengeance. As much as he wanted to hunt down Klaus Schmidt and the others who had escaped, he would set that goal aside for Magda's sake. But he had to do something. He had to earn his survival. He had to leave a legacy on this earth. Anything he did he would do with the dead in mind. He would make his life a tribute to them.

He would do it through Anya. She would be his legacy. She would be his gift to the world. He saw her as his gift to Magda and Magda's gift to him. He saw her as the light of his life. She was everything to him. She was his chance to truly give something to the world. She would be his legacy. He would give her everything. He would raise her to be the kind of beautiful person who would do something truly good. He could earn his survival by being a father to his daughter. With a Mama like his darling Magda, Anya would grow up to be a wonderful young lady. Erik was sure of it.

"So, what were you saying about me burning down the kitchen?"

"It's delicious, Erik. Thank you. You don't have to do things like this."

"Yes I do, my love."

"Well, you know I'm glad you do. I love you, Erik. I appreciate having a husband like you. I'll be proud to brag to my friends about what a man I married."

Erik smiled. The only time he had a genuine smile on his face was when he was with his new family. Yes, pouring love into his family would be an excellent legacy to leave.


End file.
